911 101

Today children we will have a lesson on how to talk to the 911 dispatchers so that they understand what you are telling them.  I learned how on the Footless Man who has insulin shock periodicly.  I hope this helps someone else have a better experience in an emergency, in getting the better sort of help.

1. They will want to know where you are.  It is smart to find out the address before you punch the buttons.  If you are out in the unaddressed boonies, knowing which quadrant of the USGS map, and aproximately which road you took is a generally good idea.  Playing hide and seek with someone is not their idea of a good time.
2. They want to know what sort of emergency so that they know who to send. General terms and then specifics are helpful. So if you say, Medical emergency and then say car accident with blood they will be able to sent the proper people to deal with it.  They don't need to know huge details, although if someones head is detatched from thier body they might want to know so they can warn the ambulance guys
3. They will want to know if it is you or someone else who is having the emergency.  If it is someone else they will then ask if they are consious.  This is were things get tricky.  What they want to know is whether the person is awake, not awake, coherent, and if they are breathing.  If this is insulin shock we are talking about the terms you want to use are "Semiconsious, incoherent, verbally unresponsive with eyes open," and if they are just plain wierd you tell the dispatcher the they are "combative"
4. They will then give you instructions including stay with the person and reassure them, and then in the next breath they will tell you to unlock doors secure pets and  turn lights on if it's dark.  Don't argue with them, just say OK and do the unlock doors and secure pets part.  Fairly shortly you will have a lot of buff people with big bags stomping into the house and asking you questions you may not know how to answer.  

Talking to the EMT's is another thing altogether that is a lesson for another day.