Possible sweater vest

The Footless Man has been doing the laundry the last couple years as I have been getting busier with work, school and the affairs of daily living.  He does a good job with it mostly, but this last month he has been slipping.  He washed and dried my hand knit malbrigo yarn cardigan and shrank it into a postage stamp.
Then he did the same thing with my hoodlet.
I haven't let him forget either one. 
I wanted to knit him another vest. I made him one about three years go, and I took him into a bunch of yarn stores to try to find a yarn, color and texture that he would like.

Of course what happened was an essay in frustration for both of us, and we were no further forward.  I could spend a huge amount of time whining about how difficult this is and how he is uncooperative, or I can take the information that he has grudgingly given me and interpolate it into a sweater.

Like this.
only in grays and greens and browns and yellows.
I showed him the pattern and he humphed and grumphed
"Couldn't you make a spiral instead of the circle on the hand?
I don't want an all over pattern, can't you do solid color and a hand at the back?"
I get it, I truly do. 
I am asking him to do something that he is incapable of doing.  Major revision.
Knit vest to replace my sweater.  Make sure that it is scrumptious.
Find the washable wool that looks good to me, knit a simple vest and tell him that this is what he needs and to shut up and stop whining.