Another piece of the cards

The caretaker

The caretakers set up their life so that they are constantly giving, constantly controlling people and constantly out of control.  It is always more than they can handle and they are in constant chaos.  Caretakers always know how to do your life better than you do.  They have strong opinions on everything and boy do they get a bug up their butt if you don’t do as they say. 

The Caretaker can be the shadow piece for the White Knight, The Protecting Mother, or an illness driven evolution of The Good Little Girl. 

The experience of care taking from the receiving end is profoundly dis-empowering.  Whatever help you are given is given with a large dose of contempt because you need the help in the first place.  Humble pie isn’t all that tasty; the slice you have to eat to get the help you need from a Caretaker is nauseating.  “Famine itself sickens of it”

The Caretaker of course, can’t understand why the people they rescue are so mad at them and so ungrateful for the help they give so freely.  They feel very put upon and hurt and taken advantage of.  Make no mistake about it. If you are in the midst of the care taking juggling act, you are being taken advantage of.  It’s a part of the dance.

Queen Victoria’s Chair,

I once heard that queen Victoria never ever once looked behind her in her life when she sat in a chair.  The reason is, that someone would always push one under her as she sat.  Always.  On the one hand how nice to trust so absolutely that you will be cared for.  On the other hand think of the chair and the person that placed it there.  Someone was constantly watching, anticipating and rushing in to save the royal hiny from a rude landing. 

For Victoria, that was her normal way of being.  I am sure that it never occurred to her that life could be any different.  She sat, a chair was there.  I have a few people and places in my life where I feel like whomever it was that was always rushing in with that damn chair.  It's pretty exhausting and demoralizing as well.  

I find that the rude landing has a very good result.  You don't pull that kind of stupid stuff if you know that the rude landing is sure to happen.  If Victoria ever once had the experience of sitting and landing on her behind, She like the rest of us would look first before she sat.