alarums and excursions

Yesterday was a day that started pre- 4am I hate days that have two 4 o clocks in them.  This was caused by the (big surprise) clown car circus emergency precipitated at 4 AM.  We have been struggling over the last interval due to the wild zig-zags with blood glucose up and downs that Mr Footless takes during the day with the pump.  During the morning hours he needs a lot more insulin to get moving.
Then we have known that he needed more then and less at night for a while.  The specialists have been calibrating in on the proper doses kind of like stalking a lion at the water hole. They keep counseling patience and I have felt very frustrated and unheard as I am trying to explain that if they don't get his levels figured out really soon I will have a dead husband.
 Or he will give up on the pump and go back to the injections. Either of those or I will kill and bury him in the compost heap and pretend that he is doing fine for the social security payments.
 
This  last episode included the added responsibility of it being a day that I had to be out of the house at 5:30 to be to my companion job by ten til 6.  So while loading Mr Footless for his visit to the E-Room we had to speculate on how he could get home again. This was the last straw for me and I sat down with the pump settings and re set them for higher doses in the morning and way lower doses starting in the afternoon and at night.
Mr Footless is happier with the pump than I have seen him.  He is getting food when he needs it and not having to stuff himself in the late evening to make it through the night.
In my own front Friday was the up the antibiotics day.  I am wondering what the new detox effect will be.  So far I have had the vicious headache from the neither parts of hell, (3 days) and then a cold (7 days).  The joint and muscle pain and the dragging fatigue aches are way way down.
 Part of what I notice is that my mood is some brighter and I am more able to cope with and notice things like picking up junk on the floor.  I have noticed it as something hat I didn't like, but I don't think I understood just how little I wanted to make the movements it would take to bend over and pick the stuff up. 
 Of course being me what do I really notice?
 Socks are pouring off my needles.
My hands don't hurt.  I ripped through a pair of socks in less than a week, pair number two  is galloping off the needles.
I have the energy to have a conversation  after I get home from work.
I feel like cooking dinner.
The thought of driving doesn't make me want to cry.
I can think.
 That's how I know I am a lot better.

report from the front lines

Sometimes strange things are the meat of my existence.  The last few weeks have been pretty wild with changes at work and at home and as I have been going along my work load has been going up.
The problem with that has been my chronic pain.
Years ago I began having pain in my joints and inflammation in muscle and joint plus sleeplessness.  Fibromyalgia in short.  Over time I have more or less made my peace with what I understood was a chronic pain in the ass of a chronic disorder and gotten on with having a life.  I don't much complain about hurting and just go about what I was doing.
The problem was that my condition dictated that I  work less than forty hours in a week or my condition would force me to do nothing else but sleep the rest of the time. I basically have a cycle of workpainsleepworkpainsleepworkpainsleepwork.
This makes for difficulty when the chips are down and my practice revs up because while it works for about a week it doesn't work for a life.
I had a conversation with My friend who is a doctor and is my landlord at the clinic  otherwise known as Mr. Awesome Doc for privacy pruposes.
Mr Awesome Doc showed me some information an using an antibiotic for reducing the pain and inflammation in rhumatological complaints I read up and considered the possibilities and after another week of nothing but workpainsleepwork I decided to go for it.
we are starting out slow.  After three days I can report that the inflammation and swelling in my fingers is down and I have a whole lot less pain in my back, shoulders and neck. I am going on from here wondering what will happen next.
it looks promising.

Determination embodied

It Snowed. Mr Footless studied the snow for about ten minutes before he came to a conclusion about how to deal with it.

Independence comes in a lot of flavors.  This is one of them.

An allegory

Imagine that you are sitting on the side of a relatively big hill or a small mountain. And on the mountain there are various roads, paths and ways to be going up and down them.  Now on this morning at some point you saw several people rolling a very large stone slowly up towards the peak.  There were a lot of people in this project, and the group kept having people join and others drop away for reasons that you might not be aware of.  The stone was heavy, lopsided and hard to steer.  The people sometimes didn't all agree on the road and sometimes they had to go through some uncharted territory in finding a way to get this stone to the top.  So late in the afternoon the residual group of people rolling the stone are almost there at the top. There seems to be a lot of consultation about just what to do next, and a long tense silence. 
The next thing you hear is a lot of shouting  and a lot of aaaaaaaaaaugh plus crashing and running and thumping.  Out of the brush just above you comes this rock rolling, bounding, crashing, bumping and boltering along with the group of people that were there at the last, tearing ass along with it, trying to keep up.  It roars by with its attending people who disappear in a cloud of dust running like hell  as it heads off into the distance.

Well ladies and gentlemen, That was my rock that just went past and I am running like hell to keep up.