thinking about what happens next

As time goes on things have sorted out in a lot of different ways.  I keep learning about who I am and what I am able to do, and what I want to do that I am able to do, not necessarily the same thing.  The big question that I have circling in my brain is this: What happens next, and how?  What am I supposed to do, what can I do? and how will I get there from here?
Those are the distance questions.  Then there are the close up ones.  How do I make this day count in the scheme of things what are the tasks today that will count  for tomorrow and the distant future? I feel like I am building a bridge across air to a place I can't see with things I don't understand.  I have hopes  that I can't place and wants I can't articulate.  what do I want really?

•  To clean up the residual mess here, to sell this place and move to one that suits me better.  
• Something smaller, tidier, more manageable.
•  I want the means to live by my own lights.
•  If that means working, I want to work  somewhere that does not micromanage and that leaves me alone to do whatever it is. 
• Whatever my fears about getting from here to there, I want them not to drop me in my tracks.
• I want to live with no one in my personal living space. 
• I also want male companionship and cuddling from time to time.
• I have served others and cared for others all of my life.  I want to care for me mostly.  

I am still who I am.  I have a compassionate and caring heart. I just don't want to live giving all myself away. 
I am tired. I have a day in front of me I want to go back to bed.  Bed is boring. Time to move on.

Practice practice practice.  This is the latest Photoshop assignment.  The actual photo shoot will happen later today with someone who will not pick up and move the camera.