The conlusions of the clueless.

Dancers in my age range tend to treat relationships with a lot of discretion.  If I am going to date another dancer I will do my best not to alert the group as a whole, or even  the parts, to what I am about. Romance conducted by grownups looks more like Jane Austin than not.
Because we dance together, there are people that I have a lot more physical contact with, without having any emotional connection at all.  There are dance partners that I will stand with our arms around each others waist talking and neither they or I would think anything about it. However I wouldn't think of walking hand in hand with them. Nor would I allow them to walk me to my car. It would advertise a closeness, and I am acutely aware that I will be dancing with these people for  a long time and if things don't work out it can expose both parties to painful scrutiny.
The Sound Man  and I have had an increasingly friendly relationship and we both agree that what we do outside of dancing stays just that.  We limit the dances we partner in, and don't spend much time  talking in breaks.  This isn't unusual, as I said, discrete
So there is a guy. He is a very fine dancer, he teaches the lessons and has been very active in this group since its birth. He is also never been in any relationship for longer than a year, and never been married.   So if you are looking for someone to flirt with he is great, he knows the rules and will not take you as having an interest other than a few minutes of hanging together. I think of him as The Loon. I like him a lot, and we hang out together during the breaks and sometimes for a bit just after the end of things.
All this background because without, the following exchange makes no sense.
After a dance The Loon and I are standing on stairs in a half hug talking about nothing and just enjoying a bit of body heat before heading out.  One of the young and clueless student dancers bounces out the door and comes to a dead stop in front of us.
"Oh," she exclaims, "are you two married?!"
I can feel The Loon absolutely freeze beside me.  I looked at Ms. Clueless, and just started to laugh.  Then she blunders on,  "Well, are you two a couple?"  The Loon and I just continue to look at her because I have been robbed of any words and because he is entirely horror struck.
An older dancer calmly tells her, "You know, I have been dancing with this group for fifteen years and I still don't know who the couples are."
I would not have done more than laugh at the conclusions of the young and inexperienced. Except that at a dance a month later, another student who dances, male this time, inquired delicately of me as to what my relationship with The Loon actually was.  So after giving him the set down he needed and deserved, I went into the basics of being a widow and not really interested in a relationship and bless the Loon he flirted with me.
Really now, He got all dewy eyed and terribly, terribly embarrassed. Like Ms. Clueless I think he has never seen a romance conducted by grownups.
Meanwhile my on going deepening friendship with The Sound Guy seems to have gone unnoticed and unobserved. Whew.