Dear Mr Footless

Today was your birthday. You would have been 75. Your daughter and I spent a lot of time talking this weekend about the last year and a half, and what that was like for us.  The words that she used were Compassion and Grace.  I understand now that you were in the depths of paranoid dementia.  Neither one of the two of us can figure out how much of it was drug induced and at this point it really doesn't matter if it was opioid use or brain shut down that made you so entirely impossible to deal with.  Over all I am glad that you  are gone.  I loved you for most of the twenty three years we were married.  Out of twenty seven, that's not a bad ratio.
I am still dealing with the hoard, the house is still in progress, but the things that you could not deal with or do are being done.  The family things are back where they belong and the records of the mess have been burned, shredded, or mulched.
 I miss you.  I miss the man I married, who was my friend, partner and support and whom I dreamed some mighty dreams with.
I am so glad that you got to see your Grand daughters graduate from high school and go on to be functional people in the world.  They all are regular working folks, holding jobs and supporting themselves. 
You got to see my boys graduate from college.  That was a big dream for you too.  The dings and pain were there, and both of them have needed help to get past the pain but both of them have been doing the work they need to do.
I am still in limbo.  I still am focusing on the cleanup and not on my "proper" work but I still have some recovering to do.  The last year of your life plus the year before that took it all out of me and while I held things together I was just scraping by. 
Wherever you are please keep a loving eye on the Swordsman and Thursdays Child, They need whatever help that you can give them.
The Erstwhile Child will be getting married soon, please keep and eye out there as well.
I love you , I miss you.
wherever you may be please think of me
Love, Dances